Growing worse?

by John Angell James

 One of the last lessons we effectually learn, is

 that true godliness is a constant conflict in a

 believer's heart—between sin and holiness.

 Some sincere believers mistake a clearer view, and

 deeper sense of their depravity, for an actual increase

 of sin. The Christian seems sometimes to himself, to

 be growing worse, when actually it is only that he

 sees more clearly what in fact he really is!

 In the early stages of our Christian life, we have

 usually but a slender acquaintance with the evil

 of our sinfulness, and the depravity of our heart.

 The mind is so much taken up with pardon and

 eternal life, that it is but imperfectly acquainted

 with those depths of deceit and wickedness,

 which lie hidden in itself.

 At first we seem to feel as if the serpent were killed.

 But we soon find that he was only asleep—for by the

 warmth of some fiery temptation, he is revived and

 hisses at us again!

 Nothing astonishes an inexperienced believer more

 than the discoveries he is continually making of the

 evils of his heart. Corruptions which he never dreamt to

 be in him, are brought out by some new circumstances.

 It is like turning up the soil, which brings out worms

 and insects, which did not appear upon the surface.

 Or to vary the illustration, his increasing knowledge

 of God's holy nature, of the perfect law, and the

 example of Christ—is like opening the shutters, and

letting light into a dark room, the filth of which,

 the inhabitant did not see until the sunbeams

 disclosed it to him.

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