Anger, further thoughts

I get emails once in a while from "Got Questions?" :They deal with issues that face both Christians and Non Christains...this is todays question:


Question: "What does the Bible say about anger?"

Answer: Handling anger is an important topic. Christian counselors report that 50 percent of people who come in for counseling have problems dealing with anger. Anger can shatter communication and tear apart relationships, and it ruins both the joy and health of many. Sadly, people tend to justify their anger instead of accepting responsibility for it. Everyone struggles, to varying degrees, with anger. Thankfully, God’s Word contains principles regarding how to handle anger in a godly manner, and how to overcome sinful anger.

Anger is not always sin. There is a type of anger of which the Bible approves, often called “righteous indignation.” God is angry (Psalm 7:11; Mark 3:5), and believers are commanded to be angry (Ephesians 4:26). Two Greek words are used in the New Testament for our English word “anger.” One means “passion, energy” and the other means “agitated, boiling.” Biblically, anger is God-given energy intended to help us solve problems. Examples of biblical anger include Paul’s confronting Peter because of his wrong example in Galatians 2:11-14, David’s being upset over hearing Nathan the prophet sharing an injustice (2 Samuel 12), and Jesus’ anger over how some of the Jews had defiled worship at God’s temple in Jerusalem (John 2:13-18). Notice that none of these examples of anger involved self-defense, but a defense of others or of a principle.

Anger turns to sin when it is selfishly motivated (James 1:20), when God’s goal is distorted (1 Corinthians 10:31), or when anger is allowed to linger (Ephesians 4:26-27). Instead of using the energy generated by anger to attack the problem at hand, it is the person who is attacked. Ephesians 4:15-19 says we are to speak the truth in love and use our words to build others up, not allow rotten or destructive words to pour from our lips. Unfortunately, this poisonous speech is a common characteristic of fallen man (Romans 3:13-14). Anger becomes sin when it is allowed to boil over without restraint, resulting in a scenario in which hurt is multiplied (Proverbs 29:11), leaving devastation in its wake, often with irreparable consequences. Anger also becomes sin when the angry one refuses to be pacified, holds a grudge, or keeps it all inside (Ephesians 4:26-27). This can cause depression and irritability over little things, often things unrelated to the underlying problem.

We can handle anger biblically by recognizing and admitting our selfish anger and/or our wrong handling of anger as sin (Proverbs 28:13; 1 John 1:9). This confession should be both to God and to those who have been hurt by our anger. We should not minimize the sin by excusing it or blame-shifting.

We can handle anger biblically by seeing God in the trial. This is especially important when people have done something to offend us. James 1:2-4, Romans 8:28-29, and Genesis 50:20 all point to the fact that God is sovereign and in complete control over every circumstance and person that enters our path. Nothing happens to us that He does not cause or allow. And as these verses share, God is a good God (Psalm 145:8, 9, 17) who allows all things in our lives for our good and the good of others. Reflecting on this truth until it moves from our heads to our hearts will alter how we react to those who hurt us.

We can handle anger biblically by making room for God’s wrath. This is especially important in cases of injustice, when “evil” men abuse “innocent” people. Genesis 50:19 and Romans 12:19 both tell us not play God. God is righteous and just, and we can trust Him who knows all and sees all to act justly (Genesis 18:25).

We can handle anger biblically by not returning evil for good (Genesis 50:21; Romans 12:21). This is key to converting our anger into love. As our actions flow from our hearts, so also our hearts can be altered by our actions (Matthew 5:43-48). That is, we can change our feelings toward another by changing how we choose to act toward that person.

We can handle anger biblically by communicating to solve the problem. There are four basic rules of communication shared in Ephesians 4:15, 25-32:

1) Be honest and speak (Ephesians 4:15, 25). People cannot read our minds. We must speak the truth in love.

2) Stay current (Ephesians 4:26-27). We must not allow what is bothering us to build up until we lose control. Dealing with and sharing what is bothering us before it gets to that point is important.

3) Attack the problem, not the person (Ephesians 4:29, 31). Along this line, we must remember the importance of keeping the volume of our voices low (Proverbs 15:1).

4) Act, not react (Ephesians 4:31-32). Because of our fallen nature, our first impulse is often a sinful one (v. 31). The time spent in “counting to ten” should be used to reflect upon the godly way to respond (v. 32) and to remind ourselves how anger is to be used to solve problems and not create bigger ones.

Finally, we must act to solve our part of the problem (Acts 12:18). We cannot control how others act or respond, but we can make the changes that need to be made on our part. Overcoming a temper is not accomplished overnight. But through prayer, Bible study, and reliance upon God’s Holy Spirit, ungodly anger can be overcome. Just as we may have allowed anger to become entrenched in our lives by habitual practice, we must also practice responding correctly until it becomes a habit itself.


Recommended Resource: The Other Side of Love: Handling Anger in a Godly Way by Gary Chapman.


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Keeping calm in the face of naughty children

Is there room for us to get angry with our children, even when they are naughty?

James 1:

19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

Ephesians 6:

4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Be steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord!

Alpha Omega send out a devotional for homeschooling Mums, here is today's Daily Focus:

One Day at a Time
Monday / August 03, 2009


“Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 15:58).

As a homeschooling parent, do you ever wake up in the morning and want to run away and hide from your responsibilities? Last night’s dishes, last week’s laundry, and yesterday’s school work all clamor for your attention. Your baby’s cry reminds you of yet another need, and your young toddlers seek your affection and time for play. On top of that, your church is having difficulty finding help with Sunday school and the nursery, and you know you should offer your assistance. Exhausted before the day has even begun, you throw the covers back over your head and think, “Why would God give me all this responsibility? Doesn’t He know I can’t take care of everything? Where can I go to get away from all of this work?”

Are you interested in a printed version of this devotional? Then check out the new Daily Focus devotional book, perfect for your own Bible study or as a gift. Order your copy today!

When the pressure of obeying God’s call seems too much, it’s tempting to look for the easy way out. Just ask Jonah. God had given him the task of prophesying to the wicked city of Nineveh, but Jonah decided it was too big a responsibility. Hopping a boat to Joppa, Jonah worked just as hard at running away and hiding from God’s call as he would have worked if he obeyed. Fortunately, God gave this reluctant prophet another chance to accept the job He had given. After being thrown overboard and spending three days in the belly of a big fish, Jonah decided that being a preacher wasn’t that bad, even if it was to a wicked city like Nineveh.

If the responsibility of facing another year of homeschooling is causing you to run and hide, be encouraged. Although you can’t see the way through the work right now, the Lord promises to uphold you with His wisdom and strength when you need them (Isaiah 41:10). As you obediently follow His will in homeschooling today, He continues to guide you with the next step tomorrow. Step by step, day by day, you will get through the work and accomplish all He has planned for your homeschooling family. “I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye” (Psalm 32:8).

Heavenly Father, the responsibility of homeschooling is weighing me down. Please give me the courage I need to face the new year, and show me how to lead the precious children You’ve given me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

You can subscribe to Daily Focus @ http://www.aophomeschooling.com/enews.php

You can help save a homeschool! Learn how today by visiting aophomeschooling.com!

Some of my favourite web sites!

(1) Learn to Earn is a Baptist endeavour in South Africa to 'give a hand up' instead of 'a hand out'!
http://www.learntoearn.org.za/index.htm

(2) Thrive is involved with training for AIDS prevention and ministering to people in many other ways in South Africa
http://thriveafrica.org/

Correction re free books I told you about a few days ago

Free e-books START on the 4th August

http://worldebookfair.org/Collections.htm

Feeling Unmotivated?

Feeling Unmotivated?

I certainly do at times... especially when I am teaching a child something for school for the 7th time ( i get bored with repeating basics with each child) Plus that child is struggling with the concepts and a younger sibling is getting it far more easily than the one you are trying to teach. I don't know how to help it!

I also get discouraged and unmotivated if a child is disobedient or neglectful of something that they should find easy to do. I struggle if I have a pile of washing of mountain like proportions, and then a few days later I face it all over again.

(We all have our areas of difficulty) But our areas of difficulty are part of our calling, career....here are some verses that helps me cure all lack of motivation!



Ephesians 2:8-10
For by Grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them (esv)

Terrorism and True love....St James Massacre

Keep a close watch on yourself...
1 Timothy 4:16a (ESV)


Recently at church , we were looking at this passage and considering that Christians so often are no different to others. They forget to keep a high standard of true love and good example.

Our pastor had just had his 30 year school reunion and was relating some chats he had had with old school friends....one was a pagan humanist, as he described himself...he wanted nothing to do with Christianity because of the way in which he had seen Christians behave...


By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles? Matthew 7:16 ( NIV)
If Christians are not any different than the rest of the bunch then either those who claim to be Christians are not in fact Christians at all- for a public confession, baptism, being good or going to church does not make one a christian etc. Or otherwise this verse should be a wake up call. a call to a lot of soul searching. ( Philipians 2:12b-13 Work out your salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.)

It is not just that Christians are expected to be moral and kind. I think we as Christians have the capacity to love in a supernatural way, beyond the call of duty and as I sat there listening to the sermon, I was reminded of the St James massacre that my sister was victim of. And on Monday morning I was sure to tell my children about it. Some had already been told about it before, for others it was a very emotional working through the issues...what makes us different as Christians? How do you love in this manner?

I still cannot tell the story of St James in detail, without having to stop regularly, as I choke up with tears....I was not there but it had the most profound effect on me.

I was shocked today as I looked it up on google...I had never ever seen any photographs of the incident. I found a newspaper article dating back to the actual day and there is no photograph there. I can only guess that the government had restricted photographs from being published. These photographs left me shaken...

The scene, 40 minutes after the assault on church
members.

This is a story of true terrorism and true love...written purely from my personal point of view:

Douglas and I were attending St Marks church in 1993. St Marks is a daughter church of St James. St Marks was a evangelical and reformed at that time. Jessica was nearly 3 and Jonathan was just a few weeks old. As a family we were attending an evening service and I had taken the two children to the cry room, which was a glassed off area at the back of the church. A group of young people came rushing into the church screaming, going ballistic..strange things happen in South Africa, so I stayed put and could only think of the safety of the children. The group was calmed down and the pastor explained very briefly that St James church had been attacked, said a short prayer and we broke up the service and went to the hall for tea and to pray in small groups as we were able. Some, I think, went to help at St James but generally it was thought better not to go rushing off in case there were further attacks. I remember worrying and being so embarrassed because I had an over supply of milk and discovered I was leaking very obviously- groan....I put a blanket over my shoulder and held the baby close to me so no one would notice. How far removed from the real stress of the moment.

Then out of the blue like a lightening bolt , it suddenly occurred to me that my sister Ruth usually went to St James' Sunday night services with my cousin Kevin...I cannot explain the horror of this realisation. It was before the days of cell phones......we had walked to church so rushed home as quickly as we could.....I couldn't phone my mother in case she didn't know anything about it- I didn't want to worry her unnecessary Likewise I couldn't phone my cousin who still stayed with my aunt. I just had to wait, while trying and trying to phone Ruth's number for what seemed like an eternity.....eventually someone phoned us to let us know Ruth was safe....
Perhaps that is why I will always love my sister passionately forever, I am so grateful to have her and despite the distance of seas and continents, I will still always feel close to her. To me God gave us a second chance of being together and I will always be eternally grateful for this. Life is indeed so fragile....as the Bible describes it, "a mist", here today and gone tomorrow. I have lost two close friends to cancer subsequently. Life is full of ups and downs, but never not to be treasured and appreciated! I always try to live with eternity in perspective, I fail dismally, but keep striving to remember. Eternity is in the here and now and not something of the distant future to be trifled with.

This is what I remember of what people told us of what actually happened at St James on the night of the St James Massacre. Forgive me if I remember the facts incorrectly....here is what I recall of the horror incident.

A group of armed men rushed into the church carrying hand grenades and AK47's and attacked the congregation from the front...some initially thought it was a drama/play so reflexes were slow. I believe that Kevin, my cousin, saved Ruth's life by shoving her down under the pews. Around her people were killed. Ruth was teaching at a Christan school at the time...one of her pupils lost her mother. Another couple we know were the first ones out of the church... they had scaled an incredibly high wall behind the church...the first house they went to ignored them , thought they were mad or dangerous or whatever, the next house let them in and alerted the police.


In reading the Google articles I realise now just how bad it was and how much worse it could have been...one man in the congregation had a gun and fired back.....the plan of the attackers was to kill the whole congregation. This man therefore saved many, many lives - my sister's life included. I thank God for him. He has gone on to promote gun ownership in South Africa for self defense.


Those of you who know me well, will know I hate war...all the white boys in our generation went to the army - it messed with their brains as far as I am concerned- you cannot kill and not be effected. At the same time most of our politically correct world forget or have never been aware that the white government in South Africa was anti Communism and anti - terrorism....hello isn't that the same thing America and most of the western world is fighting against????
And yet I have the most incredible empathy for those effected by apartheid, there was never anything right about apartheid, but it started before that with the greedy element of colonialism.....And so this is why I hate war- there are always two sides. Living in a country torn apart by civil war does that to you! You can see two opposing sides fighting for what they believe is right and you can see something right on both sides but the fighting will never make it all right. Just as the violence South Africa still faces will never bring healing.

The incredible thing about the St James attack is the reaction of people who had loved ones killed. The ability to forgive these terrorists in the manner that they have can only be described as a supernatural gift of love- I believe that it is this that makes a Christan stand out as different from anyone else in the world, for this potential can only be found in Christians. ...read more about St James it in the links below.

http://www.frontline.org.za/articles/christians_underfire.htm

http://www.forachange.net/browse/article/1843.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St_James_Church_massacre
http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=70372
http://www.anc.org.za/ancdocs/pr/1993/pr0726.html


Of course the next issue that arises is...why don't Christans tap into this opportunity to love..as one of my children said - "but Mom it is so much easier to love like this when you have a real hard life"...it is so hard to love like this when your kid brother deliberately annoys you indeed we are all challanged on the most petty levels.

We all have our excuses - don't we? Love is never a passive thing- it is a choice to take a positive action beyond the norm. It is not the Hollywood, ' falling in love'. It is more about choices and actions , rather than feelings. The amazing thing as a Christan though, is that as you pray and make put into actions your choice to love, those feeling flow from God to the person you chose to love, even when humanly speaking they are most annoying or worse, your enemy.

"Beloved let us love"... for as Christians we are the only ones who have access to such love, love from God himself. Let us not neglect to use this love as we should... with us love should have a different definition.

Keep a close watch on yourself...1 Timothy 4:16a ESV

And,
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves ( in this special way) has been born of God and knows God. 1 John 4:7, NIV , brackets added by me.